Marlee Matlin & Katherine Moennig, "The L Word" Farewell Party, March 2009 West Hollywood
Donald Trump’s ‘Celebrity Apprentice’ (NBC) is as guilty a pleasure as locating the familiar pink spackle around Trump’s eyes. Now in its eleventh season of fisticuffs and backstabs, ‘Apprentice’ pits teams of men against women, a radical and shrewd move by Trump and Producers Jay Beinstock and Mark Burnett.
Whatever his faults — narcissism and sexism among them — Trump understands ratings. Men against women is one piece of the voyeuristic pleasure starting with the opening bass of “For the Love of Money” by The O’Jay’s. I am in on the joke, co-conspirator with Trump, his son Don Jr. and daughter Ivanka who flank Dad in the Boardroom where “Someone will be fired.”
The Trump kids are young enough that emotion shows on their faces. Ivanka and Don seem unspoiled despite the family wealth. Ivanka is vain like Dad, while Don Jr. is almost sensitive. The kids play off Dad’s grave face which is often put-on and Donald’s acting skills, unlike his hairstyle have improved. Trump has slightly loosened his burgundy necktie since the show debuted in 2004.
Apprentice regular Amanda the Boardroom Receptionist is a figure of mystery. Amanda Miller is an actress who plays herself in the series. Her only acting is looking bemused, and pressing a button to notify Trump when the candidates arrive for the Boardroom at the end of each episode. “Let ‘em in, Amanda,” blares the speakerphone and she smiles mysteriously and ushers the frazzled herd through the double oak doors. The doors softly close, trapping the sheep in the pen.
Don Jr., Donald Trump, Ivanka Trump
Celebrity contestants come from the movies, music and in the case of Gary Busey and Dionne Warwick, the dustbin of stardom. There is also a non-celebrity edition of The Apprentice with “regular” candidates who audition to be Trump’s Apprentice. Celebrities compete to raise money for their charity, a classy touch by Trump and Producers. It elevates the show when checks are presented to smiling charity directors. Doing good by doing well is still fashionable.
The men’s team shows better teamwork, probably because boys are socialized to play on sports teams and work together. Still, the men struggle with their feelings, like Meat Loaf sobbing (“I’m an emotional guy!”) after his team’s win in the Boardroom. Lil’John hides behind shades even in the Boardroom, the only black on a team with Meat Loaf, Busey and he-man Jose Canseco, who appeared close to tears in “Unhappy Campers”.
The women’s team is a teleplay of “Lord of the Flies” where you can’t look away from them trying to throw each other under the bus. Lisa Rinna, with a glittering line of television and movie credits stretching a decade, unlike NeNe Leakes (who?) was fired on “Child’s Play.” The task was to write and stage a children’s story: simple enough for eight talented women, right? Not with Star Jones aboard.
Jones is an attorney, commentator, former prosecutor and formidable opponent. Never content to let an error go unexploited, Jones exposes each flaw in her teammates and project managers to the camera. A fearful strategist, Jones forged an alliance with the other African-American women — Leakes, Warwick and LaToya Jackson (who looks like no one’s ever said a kind word to her) — to force Rinna out.
Smart move, except Jones looked like an armchair critic who’s out for herself. Rinna’s words to Jones in the Boardroom, “I’m a threat to you” prompted Jones to ask what she could have done better. The camera zeroed in on Jones’s smug mug as Rinna spat, “Kindness, Star! How about a little kindness!” For a moment the Star’s twinkle dimmed, and 5 million viewers saw.
The defeated ladies retreated to their suite, and 70-year old Warwick exulted on-camera as Star glared at her like, “you’re next.” Dionne’s days appear to be more numbered after last night’s cameras caught her pottering about the camping store like a 70-year old grandma who’s slowing down. Hardly ‘Apprentice’ material, but like Star Jones, it makes good TV and that’s what matters to ‘Apprentice’ producers.
Contestant Richard Hatch won $1 million on the first season of ‘Survivor.’ The Anthony Hopkins look-alike spent three years in jail for not paying taxes on his winnings. After his release in 2009, Hatch was supposed to re-file his returns and pay taxes. Instead, he turned up on Celebrity Apprentice 2011. He reported back to jail on March 14, 2011 for a nine-month sentence. Donald Trump said: “I don’t know what it is with him. I like him, he’s a nice guy. I thought he served his time and now he’s going back to jail. … I’m going to have to sit down with him and talk to him.”
Hatch played it close to the vest, saying no more than necessary and volunteering nothing. Now I know why, but I assume he’ll get fired because he isn’t the star of the men’s team. That accolade belongs to country music celeb John Rich: cool under fire, he treats everyone equally and is a clever songwriter. The other performer is yes, Meat Loaf. He’s an experienced, compassionate manager, equal parts fire and numbers.
The strongest woman is Marlee Matlin, Oscar-winning and four-time Emmy nominated actress. She says what she means without being mean when she says it. Matlin uses a male interpreter to communicate through American Sign Language, a barrier that doesn’t stop her from making her point better than hearing contestants. Matlin helped Gary Busey obtain hearing aids after noticing that he didn’t hear well during taping. Busey thanked her in the Boardroom for this “blessing” – an unusual, unscripted moment in a television show.
It remains to be seen if Star Jones can play on the team instead of hogging the Boardroom. Another contender, Hope Dworaczyk, Playboy Magazine’s 2010 Playmate of the Year, has not revealed much and her talent is unclear. Her belief that this was the twentieth, not twenty-first century and having to Google to make sure was “not a good sign” as Trump would say. What ends in the Boardroom ends well, at least for the ratings.
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Notes
http://www.nbc.com/the-apprentice/
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Apprentice_(U.S._season_11)#US_Ratings
http://www.tvguide.com/News/Trump-Richard-Hatch-1030676.aspx
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